What Glenn Writes

Yesterday , I spoke about my usual reaction when things don’t go my way… you know, the usual way adults show their frustration, irritation, or impatience? We throw a tantrum.

You know it is true, but being adults we just hate to label it as a tantrum. However, when you consider the definition of a tantrum when applied to a child, how is an adult’s expression any different?

Ok, granted… we don’t hold our breath until we turn blue; instead, we shout and yell until we turn blue.

We don’t stomp our feet… oh wait, yes we do.

Well, we certainly don’t throw or break things… ok, got me there, too.

What about going off by ourselves and not talking to anyone for hours? Hmmm… this really seems to be lining up, doesn’t it?

When some of us take a long hard look at our negative reactions or expressions of frustration, anger, irritation, or impatience, we will find it very difficult to distinguish between our actions and that of a child. I have three teenagers who are quick to point out my childish behavior when I am trying to help them with their self-control in the same situations. I have never been a “do as I say and not as I do” type of parent, so I am only left with a confession of guilt in front of my teens (which just really frustrates me… yeah, you know it).

I am actually grateful for those eye-opening moments when my teens reflect my weaknesses back to me. These are excellent opportunities to show them I don’t have it all together, I am not perfect, and I make mistakes (oh gasp, say it ain’t so!); then I remind them of Someone who I turn to for help, Someone who has never let me down, and Someone who loves them even more than I do.

Think about this concept for a moment.

Why would they turn to God if they never see me do it?

Why would they cry out to Jesus if I haven’t shed some tears?

Why would they confess their weaknesses in a world teaching them to cover them up if they haven’t seen and witnessed me confess my weaknesses right to their face, and then to God in prayer?

Self-control is less about us bottling up our immediate or initial reaction to a situation and more about recognizing we have a weakness in our expression, and then turning to God in our weakness.

Remember what Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 12:9:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

When we recognize, express, and confess our weakness, we open a door for God to pour His grace into the situation, or to pour out His strength. This is especially true in our reactions to others and to frustrating conditions.

The testimony is not in the confession, but in the transformation resulting from the confession.

Let me give you an example:

Last December, our minivan developed an engine problem resulting in the head gaskets having to be replaced. I wouldn’t know a head gasket from a tail gasket, but I do know the repair took a couple of weeks and a check with a comma in the amount. It was one of those repairs where the initial quote gets approved to get the work started, and then additional charges and repairs are required after the hood opens. I did not handle my frustration very well throughout this ordeal.

This past Friday, we were returning from a wonderful vacation in Michigan. Just north of Petersburg, the same minivan made a series of pounding noises just before gutting itself on the expressway… engine parts spraying along the road, bouncing against the bottom of the van, and pretty much leaving debris in our wake. Even without much knowledge on engines, I was quick to realize all those parts bouncing along the road were vital to the engine running since the motor just quit and we were coasting.

And we coasted… uphill for a railroad bridge and down the other side, up an exit ramp and down the road away from the expressway, and we finally came to a stop in a small factory parking lot. We coasted for almost a full mile, up and down hills. Long story short, we found a tow and borrowed a car to get the rest of the way home, but I didn’t recognize the testimony until we were almost home… no tantrum, no frustration, and no anger throughout the entire time.

My wife and kids pointed it out.

The testimony is not in the confession, but in the transformation resulting from the confession. There is freedom in the transformation – for me, there is freedom from the tantrum. Paul refers to this in 2 Corinthians 3:17-18:

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

There is freedom here and I experienced peace in the midst of that freedom last Friday, even though I didn’t realize it until it was pointed out to me. Is the transformation complete? No, far from it, but I am learning to be quicker to confess my weakness and look for the Lord to be reflected in my transformation… and to allow it to happen.

Do you throw tantrums? Where is your weakness? Is your weakness reflected to others? Is there a place in your life where a confession may bring you freedom?

I encourage you to have a prayer conversation with the Lord where you just lay it all out to Him and simply ask for His strength. Contact me if you need help with this prayer.

Glenn Sasscer

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