A Second Flush
The following is a repost of an earlier article, giving it a second flush.
I subscribe to most of the recommendations made by the Macho-Male Book on Life, particularly what is said about commodes. For those of you who are not familiar with the word commode, I am referring to the toilet, the john, the head, the porcelain throne, and for our canine friends, the drinking bowl.
Now the Macho-Male Book on Life rates commodes in the same way automobiles are rated: the less efficiency the better. With this in mind, it is easy to see why older commodes using roughly the same amount of water that fills a small pool are rated higher than the newer economy models using a cup or two of water. The principle is the same with vehicles: It is all about horsepower.
Let’s face facts: if you were to toss a small tissue into an economy model, you might see it clear the bowl after two flushes – as long as nothing else is in the bowl and you wait the mandatory minute or so for the reservoir tank to completely fill (you want that whole cup of water for the flush). Yet, if you were to dump a five gallon bucket of sand into one of the older models, you will have enough horsepower to not only clear the bowl in one flush, but push the sand pile halfway to Cleveland.
The real reason plumbers promote the economy models is to stop losing their plungers. A well-known fact around the plumber union halls is they continually lose plungers when they unclog those very rare back-ups in the older commodes. Once the obstruction is free, the suction is too hard to fight and down goes the plunger. The older models rarely get choked up on any blockage – the most common being small poodles quenching their thirst at the moment of flush (They simply get caught in the undertow).
I recently found a rebel plumber, disgruntled when he was banned from the union hall for losing his golden plunger award, who would admit the truth about the older model commodes. His words verbatim, “They were made to flush.” And his comments about the economy models: “Their primary function is to hold fluffy seat covers and to give poodles a fighting chance.”
Here we find the first professional not affiliated with NASCAR to support the recommendations of the Macho-Male Book on Life (NASCAR has endorsed the code book since inception, but that is a story for another blog) (NASCAR has asked me to retract this statement from my earlier posting, recognizing it is politically incorrect for them to endorse the Macho-Male Book on Life when there are female drivers in NASCAR. They continue to endorse the code book, but want to adopt a “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy to avoid distracting their women drivers and causing them to get lost on the track. I know what you are thinking… but the track is a big circle and there is no Walmart).
As the rebel plumber tells us so well, each commode has their own specific purpose. We will get unsatisfactory results if we confuse the function of each.
Which brings us to our Biblical principle for this article. Were you wondering how I was going to segue from toilets to the Bible without getting blasphemous? Let’s look at the principles.
God has made us for a specific purpose and job in His plan for our lives. We find this in 1 Corinthians 12:27-28:
“Now you are the Body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. And in the church, God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues.”
These verses show that each of us have a place and a part in God’s plan. We have a role to facilitate to the best of our ability. The important point to realize is God has given us the abilities we need, the actual talents and skills required, to function in the role He has designed.
If God has blessed us with the gift of hospitality, we should use this awesome talent to benefit others. If God did not bless us with the talent to sing, the last place we should find ourselves is on the choir or worship team (I learned this the hard way… how could I know they were turning my mic off?). We have our calling and place, whether it be in a pastoral capacity, as an administrative clerk, or in helping others by giving them a telephone call or visiting them.
These verses do not call us to a position of honor as the world sees us, but to honor the position we are called to as the Lord sees us. I encourage you to prayerfully examine the place to where the Lord has been calling you, the service where you know you are prepared, the part for which you have been made.
We each have our own specific purpose. We will get unsatisfactory results if we confuse each other or ourselves with how God has designed us.
The results just won’t flush.
Glenn Sasscer
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