Am I a Grumpy Old Man?
When I was getting my hair cut yesterday, I noticed the stylist seemed to be targeting only the brown hair. I started to get a little upset and told her I would increase her tip if she started just cutting the gray and white hair and leave the brown hair. She said there would hardly be any hair left.
This young, perky, twenty-something chuckled nervously as my head turned around three times, my eyes turned red, and I just started crying like a little girl all at the same time. Didn’t they teach these stylists about the fragile male ego back in beauty school?
Sure, I could find some comfort in Proverbs 20:29:
The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old.
I’m not sure I am ready for that kind of splendor just yet. Seriously, I can wait. I’m thinking we can put off this whole splendor thing a few years… maybe a few decades? I’m still looking in the mirror and seeing the glory of the young men… oh wait… that strength thing is getting more difficult, too. Where is the verse that talks about the blessings of a large waist?
Oh yes, self-control. Hmmm…
I think we tend to get caught up in our external appearances. I am finding it far too easy to focus on the gray coloring my hair and my pudgy waistline when I am often missing or forgetting the internal health or what is happening in my heart. We see this happening often in the Old Testament, as in many cases it was the outward appearance indicating whether God blessed someone or a person found God’s favor. A man with plenty of land, livestock, and many children appeared to be favored by God over a man living in more meager means.
Jesus gives us stark warnings about this view on life. When we look at Matthew 23:27-28, we find Jesus crying out to the Pharisees, His heart seeming to break with His plea to them.
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.”
I used to read this verse as if Jesus was shaking His fist or pointing His finger at the Pharisees, perhaps because of the exclamation point following the word hypocrites. I believe a deeper understanding reveals His heart breaking for the Pharisees, this being one of His last chances to reach them. In His frustration over their lack of understanding or denial, He is crying out to them, almost pleading with them to understand the condition of their heart is so much more important than the outward appearance.
Jesus took the focus off the outward appearance in the Old Testament and centered it on the condition of our hearts in the New Testament. Just looking at the Fruit of the Spirit reveals His intent in Galatians 5:22-23.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
The law was given in the Old Testament to give direction to our outward condition and focus. The Spirit was given in the New Testament to give direction to our inward condition and focus. I believe Jesus is concerned with the whole picture, the internal and external. This is why He teaches in the same passage where He is trying to reach the Pharisees above to focus on the internal, so the external will line up, also.
Matthew 23:25-26:
“You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence… First clean the inside of the cup and dish and then the outside also will be clean.”
Of course, anyone cleaning a cup and dish would clean both the inside and the outside, but His point here is we would pay particular attention to the inside, as this is the part that should be the cleanest.
What if I focused more on what is inside me, that is, what I carry around in my heart? Would the outside appear differently?
If I didn’t carry around as much worry and frustration, trusting more in God, would my stress levels be lower? Could it be my stress level is graying my hair?
If I didn’t hold grudges so long and forgave more quickly, would I eat less over the relational anxiety? Eating less would probably reduce my pudgy waistline.
What am I holding onto in my life that is unhealthy for me and beyond my control anyway? What emotions am I squirreling away deep down, hiding from the light so I don’t have to deal with them? What dirty little secrets are making my cup and dish unclean?
I may have gray hair and a pudgy waistline for other reasons than unforgiveness, sin, worry, or emotional pain, but what if forgiving someone was all it took to reduce my stress level? What if addressing my emotional pain and just surrendering it to God was all it took to feel relief? What if confessing my sin or fears and giving them to God (without taking them back) was all it took to be released from depression or the internal burdens weighing us down?
What if?
Are you tough enough to find out? This may be a tough step for many of us. This may go beyond what we are able to do on our own. Please email me if you need help with this step. If you need a telephone call to work through something or just to know someone is praying for you, shoot me an email. You can email me at glenn@sasscer.com. You can also write to me at Glenn Sasscer, PO Box 711, Elmore, Ohio 43416.
If you need help and you are not comfortable contacting me, please contact your local church or pastor. I believe God is concerned with each of us, including you. Find out for yourself.
Glenn Sasscer
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