I presented a dramatic teaching last year titled, “A Thief at the Banquet”. A couple of people have asked if I would share the teaching with their church communities. I decided to open the opportunity up a little bit.
Here is a link to a trailer for more information.
Glenn Sasscer
www.glennsasscer.com
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We have five members in our family. We usually eat dinner together.
So, let’s do the math: With five members, we have five dinner plates, five drink glasses, five forks, five spoons, and five knives. On average, we have the main dish and four side dishes, so that is five more dishes, serving and stirring spoons, a few pots or pans, and maybe a few odds and ends in the cooking process like a measuring cup, measuring spoons, and maybe a lid or two. Overall, we have ten plates or dishes, pots or pans, five glasses, a couple of lids, and a handful of utensils.
From my experience, these will all fit in the same dishwasher together, and even with pre-washing, will only take about ten minutes from table to appliance. I can do it in five minutes if I am in a hurry and someone else deals with the leftovers (affectionately called “leaved-overs” in our house).
My wife takes about the same amount of time, although she is more particular in stacking the dishes in the washer. She doesn’t have my “packing” ability, which may be a man thing, and she is always overly concerned about the jet-sprays in the washer being able to get to each and every plate or dish (I don’t understand why she has issues with this… the baked on egg yolk scrapes off easily with a fingernail when putting the dishes away and the crusty coffee lining in the mug only adds to the flavor of the next cup).
Ok, so that may have totally grossed you out, but sometimes I have to go for the “gross out” potential when I am writing.
Based on my experience and my wife’s experience, the packing of the dishwasher, from table to closed door and the sound of splashing water erupting from inside, is roughly about ten to fifteen minutes. Why then does it take my middle daughter an hour to do the same process? I think we need to look at this from her perspective to answer this question.
First, she needs to have her iPod on in order to do the dishes. If she does not have the iPod, then the computer or mobile phone provides the “background accompaniment” to her cleaning experience.
Second, when there is a good song, she cannot just walk from the table to the sink. If there is a good beat, she is dancing from one place to another, and sometimes spinning around as she moves through the kitchen.
Third, if the telephone is not the source of the music, then she may be talking to her friend, Hannah, who lives a couple hours away but frequently visits via Verizon Wireless.
Now, as I think about this, I remember doing the dishes when I was twelve or thirteen. We would eat at 6:00pm. I would still be doing the dishes some nights at 9:00pm, although with less dancing and footwork. So, is this a youth thing? Is this a perspective from the eyes of the tweens or teens? Can I use what little memory remains from my formative years and peek into a different perspective?
What I do know from studying my daughter (and yes, I study her – I study all my children… otherwise I might wake up one day and discover three complete strangers living in my house) is she prefers completing short tasks on a long list of things to do than one long, arduous task with what seems to be no end in sight. Hmmm… yes, this sounds like a younger Glenn.
I know my daughter’s mind rarely stops churning out ideas or thoughts, sometime collected in a great story she is writing or just a random, out-of-the-blue opinion about anything and everything. Hmmm… yes, this sounds like a younger Glenn.
I also know she can be distracted easily. Hmmm… yes, this sounds like a younger… whoa, look at the shiny object…
So what does this insight provide in a different perspective?
If nothing else, it confirms there can be a drastic difference in the way two people view the same circumstance, task, event, or project. I knew this before, but when applying this to a generational gap, the drastic difference expands exponentially. I look at the dishes and see a small task taking about ten minutes; my daughter sees the task of cleaning the dishes as a huge, insurmountable obstacle to her evening, the Mt. Everest of all chores, a violation of child labor laws (her own words), and a solid, brick wall between her and her free time.
The difference is I see the chore as something to do by itself, without distractions, and just get it done. My daughter sees the chore as something she can do while multi-tasking and take an hour to complete.
Let’s look at a couple of ways to approach these differing perspectives when we encounter them.
One, I could say, “Quit messing around, turn off the music, get off the phone, and get the dishes done!” This approach may start out with just a period at the end of the sentence, but ultimately escalates to the exclamation point shown, each time repeated with a little more volume and emphasis, each time growing less effective in changing a perspective, and more effective in crushing a spirit, ruining a relationship, and limiting the potential of a very bright mind.
Two, I could just respect her perspective. In some cases, as parents or adults, we accept this arrogant notion we have all the answers, it is our way or the highway, and just do what I tell you to do, when I tell you to do it, and how I tell you to do it. If she takes an hour or two to complete the task and the dishes are cleaned, why do I have a problem with her doing it her way? The final outcome is the same, she listens to her music (so she enjoys the chore), and she catches up with a friend (which she would be doing anyway if she weren’t doing the chore). Respecting her perspective and allow her to complete her chores in her way, in her style, and in her time will allow her to grow, learn, and be how God made her (not how He made me).
Or three, with respect to her perspective, I could show her a better different way to get the chore done (it may be better from my perspective, but not necessarily from her position, so I have to refrain from saying it is better here – it is merely different). If I show her step-by-step instructions on how to complete the task, she is less likely to see the chore as “cruel and unusual punishment” (again, her words) and more likely to see the chore as a small portion of the evening. With this last option, I also need to allow her to make a decision to choose the steps I show her or continue with her method.
When we read these words about a simple kitchen chore, we obviously see the value of avoiding the first option above. I admit, I have had a few tiring nights after a long day when I barked those commands in stress, only to apologize later. Overall I strive to choose the second or third options above (or fall somewhere in between).
Would you choose the first option? Do you know of anyone who would?
I find Christians, pastors, and in fact entire churches, falling squarely in the first category with their approach to salvation or religion. Let’s put this in context:
“Quit messing around, turn off the music, get cleaned up, and come to church!”
“You need to wear a suit and tie to church.”
“You need to wear a dress to church.”
“You can’t wear make-up in church.”
“You can’t play drums in church.”
“You have to stand when Scripture is read, because you stand when God speaks and sit when man speaks.”
“You can’t play electric guitars in church.”
“You can only sing the old Hymns in church, none of that devil music.”
“Women should not cut their hair and men should not let their hair grow long.”
“You have to donate money to belong to a church.”
“Men should not grow beards; it is disrespectful in church.”
“You must genuflect before entering the pew.”
Some of you might be thinking, this Glenn… he’s a jokester. He is a writer, he is creative, and he came up with some of the things on this list to make his point. Well, actually no… except for the first one, I have heard each of these statements made in a church, from the pulpit, and supported by the entire congregation. I have personally heard Christians making these claims and many others, and… here we go folks, hold on to your wigs… these are all perfectly ok statements to make for themselves.
Let me say that again: these statements are perfectly ok statements to make for themselves.
Just as it was perfectly ok for me to have the perspective of completing the dishes within ten minutes by doing just one task without distractions and my daughter having a perspective of doing several things and taking an hour, these perspectives are fine when we apply them to ourselves. I believe we cross the line when we force these sorts of perspectives on others.
And you know how it begins. The above statements, or fill in your own, start out with just a period at the end of the sentence, but ultimately escalates to the exclamation point if the point is not accepted. Each time the statement is repeated with a little more volume and emphasis, each time growing less effective in changing a perspective, and more effective in crushing spirits, ruining relationships, and limiting potentials.
We have a second option. As Christians, would it be possible for us to respect the perspectives of others? Of course, I am referring to perspectives not specifically addressed in Scripture. Do we accept this arrogant notion we have all the answers, it is our way or the highway, and just do what I tell you to do, when I tell you to do it, and how I tell you to do it? If others are just expressing their love or respect for Christ in another way, why do we have a problem? The final outcome is the same, we worship to music (and music is just the vehicle for the worship, not the worship itself), we are in church (although dressed differently, some dressed up, some dressed down), and we are building our faith (same God, different people). Respecting other’s perspectives and allowing them to approach God in their way, in their style, and in their time will allow them to grow, learn, and be how God made them.
Then there is a third option. With respect to their perspectives, we could show them a better different way to approach the Lord, remembering it is not necessarily better, though merely a different way. Again, with this last option, we also need to allow them to make a decision to choose the steps we show them or continue with their method.
Is this a Scriptural perspective? We find these truths in Romans 14:4-5 and 14:10-13.
Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.
You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written: “‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.’” So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way.
A word of caution is necessary here. While we need to be gracious to one another’s perspectives and tolerant of disagreement over disputable matters, we cannot accept heresy. If we remember these guidelines and apply them in love and mercy, we will be safe from both legalism and heresy. As John writes in I John 4:1…
Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.
Nor am I saying there is any other way to salvation except through and by Jesus Christ, for the emphasis of the entire Book of Galatians can be summed up in “Jesus plus nothing else equals salvation”. That is, we only need Jesus for our salvation; it is perfectly acceptable if you think you need to dress up to go to church and prefer not to listen to drums in worship, but do not tie my salvation to your rules.
My point is, there are many different ways to clean the dishes, but there is only one Soap. Let’s not get caught up in how the dishes are getting cleaned, but instead get caught up in the Soap cleaning the dishes.
Read it a couple of times, it will eventually make sense. If not, this is just my perspective.
Glenn Sasscer
www.glennsasscer.com
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When I traveled to El Paso during the first week of December, I figured I would pack light. I know they have relatively mild winters and it would be my last opportunity to enjoy the sun before returning to the cold, frozen tundra of Ohio. I wore only a sweatshirt to the Toledo Airport; my plan being once I arrived at the airport I would be inside thereafter until stepping out into the warm Texas sun.
You have heard the quote, “The best way to get God to laugh is to tell him we have a plan.”
Snow started falling as the wheels of my plane landed at my destination. I looked out the window in amazement, wondering what sort of fool would only pack short sleeve shirts for such weather. The locals told me it snows once every three to four years, yet it snowed three times in the same week while I was there. They should be good for the next decade now.
The three times it snowed were all in the evening or early morning hours, as during the day the temperatures did climb into the high forties or low fifties. For me, a solid Ohioan for most of my life, these temperatures were tolerable with short sleeves, but the locals were literally bundled up and freezing. This struck me as kind of funny as the different perspectives clashed with the weather.
When you think about it, our weather perspective is funny no matter where we live. In Ohio, a sixty-degree day in July is freezing, although extremely warm in February. How can the same temperature be so different? The answer is in our perspective.
The same can be said when we view a moment when Jesus was visiting with some friends. As recorded in Luke 10:38-42, we find two sisters with differing perspectives of the same event.
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.
She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
As many times as I have read this passage, this must be the first time I truly appreciated the contrasting perspectives and applied them to my life. Mary and Martha were both spending time with Jesus in two different ways, one giving her entire concentration and focus, the other distracted with things to do.
When I consider the times I have spent with Jesus, I know I look back on my best experiences being when I could give Him my complete concentration, focus, and attention. This may be prayer time, meditation, reading Scripture, worship, or just resting, but my focus is on Him and Him alone.
The above passage is a reminder to me to seek out those times, plan for those times, and be protective over the time I have scheduled – the pressures of the world will always be there, ready to steal away these precious moments. I can always be distracted like Martha.
How about you? Are you tough enough to plan some time with Jesus and gain a new perspective?
Glenn Sasscer
www.glennsasscer.com
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