What Glenn Writes

There are times I fully endorse the Macho-Male Code of Life. This is my favorite all time book on how to fix things around the house (usually involves a large hammer and a credit card), how to drive a car (usually involves a gas can and a long walk), and how to put things together (never includes the directions).

So when I locked my keys in the car awhile ago, I naturally followed the Macho-Male Rule Book. Technically, if a man can unlock the car using a coat hanger, wire, piece of metal, or a very large rock, he was never locked out of the car. We prefer to view this type of situation as a vehicle entry challenge.

Although let’s face facts, I did leave the keys in the car and locked the doors. This was a minor slip, a forgetful moment, and as I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders over this momentary lapse of reason, it was an easy thing to overlook. When you cut through the Macho-Male Mirage, I made a mistake.

There were several people offering to help me in my dilemma. Both men and women had pity on the silly guy stuck in the rain as he tried to unlock his car.

I wonder if there would have been as much mercy if they thought I purposefully locked my keys in the car? Perhaps. What about the second time? Or, the third time? Do you think as many people would have offered to help me if they knew I intentionally locked my keys in the car twenty times in twenty days?
Could this be called a locked key addiction? Sometimes people have trouble with addicts, so I wonder if the mercy would be extended to a locked key addict?

The repeating offence is hard to ignore and harder still in knowing the offence was deliberate. Yet too many times we want a different set of standards for viewing our sins or addictions. Here is where we want to ignore our actions and willful desires toward sin.

Even as I write this, I do not want to address my own personal sin, nor do I want to address my addiction to American Cheese slices and locking my keys in the car. I suspect you do not want to read something to bring your focus on yourself. We do not like to be under a microscope, especially when we ourselves are looking in the lens.

Whether we like it or not, this is exactly what Paul is telling us to do in 2 Corinthians 13:5, “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves.”

This is an important element in our relationship with God, as this gives perspective on our obedience and reveals areas where we need Him. When we make a conscious effort to recognize our own shortcomings, we begin to realize His mercy and patience. In this, He reveals His persevering love for us.

This self-examination can be difficult. As we recognize negative cycles of behavior, we will put ourselves in an uncomfortable position to make a choice to continue or change our behavior patterns. Our struggle is explained by Paul in Romans 7:18-19, “I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, [it is] the evil I do not want to do [that] I keep on doing.”

The challenge is we are called to go against our very natural and sinful nature. God calls us to examine ourselves and turn away from sin. This is impossible, grim, and unpleasant on our own, though Philippians 4:13 tells us we “…can do everything through Him who gives [us] strength.”

The Lord is faithful to His Word and will follow through in providing strength. Our job is in making the choice. Do we want to be free of our addictions in life?  Do we want to be free of our sin?  Perhaps the time has come to stop slamming the door on making a decision and to recognize the real Key is not locked away where we cannot gain access – He is already with us.

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Glenn Sasscer
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I know since I keep my pants from slipping down I cannot qualify as a plumber or fit into a high school crowd. Perhaps teens today have aspirations to be plumbers later in life and emulate their fashion. Are there plumber pant racks at clothing stores? In teen magazines, do they give fashion tips on how to wear the belts loose to get the desired “plumber pant droop”?

I have always been one to like a fully covered… uh… rear. I like the security of a belt around the waist, not around my knees. I think for this reason, tasks associated with plumbing, leaking pipes, or sewers become more of a challenge for me.

Let me begin by saying I do not like water leaks or clogged sewers. Many of my friends who keep their pants at their waistline share this dislike, though I know some other guys who really dig a good leak. They see a challenge, a game between fluid and man. They approach the leak with great enthusiasm. They see a clogged sewer pipe in the same way a mountain climber views Mount Everest. Of course, these guys are plumbers and part of their enthusiasm is their hourly rate.

Now I am not out to get on any plumber’s bad list by making fun of how they wear their pants (although they could avoid being the butt of the joke if they at least checked the guy in the mirror before leaving the house), so I will share my belief they deserve every penny of their hourly rate. They crawl under sinks, pull up toilets, install toilets, and unclog drains… and what is exactly do you think is clogging those drains?

I found the answer to this question first hand when we had a recent sewer clog at our house causing a backup in our basement. I gained a new appreciation for plumbers in cleaning up the basement (bleach, bleach, bleach, and more bleach), but the real challenge was in the obstruction.

After three days, a plumber, an excavation crew, and many interested onlookers, we learned our modern day sewer line was routed through a very old fashion septic tank before connecting into the main sewer line. The roof of the century old septic tank had collapsed between our house and the main sewer line.
The integrity of the septic tank broke due to age, deterioration, and the constant pressure of the ground above it.

Integrity is a principle well expressed throughout the Bible, especially with Joseph. With much jealousy in his family, his brothers sell him into slavery. Joseph winds up in an Egyptian house working for an official of the Pharaoh. The Bible records how trusted Joseph was in Genesis 39:4, “Joseph found favor in his eyes and became his attendant. Potiphar put him in charge of his household, and he entrusted to his care everything he owned.”

Joseph was awarded a coveted position, which did not come easy for a Hebrew in Egypt. Potiphar trusted Joseph to the extent he put all he owned in Joseph’s care. He knew Joseph’s integrity was such that no amount of pressure would cause Joseph to do something wrong.

Genesis goes on to record how Potiphar’s wife continually tried to seduce Joseph, yet Joseph refused her advances. When we consider Joseph’s position and her influence over Potiphar, she could have made things beneficial for Joseph had he submitted to her. Genesis 39:10-12 tells how she pressured him daily with, “And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to… be with her. One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. She caught him by his cloak and said, ‘Come to bed with me!’ But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house.”

Here, even though no one was around and there was no chance of being caught, Joseph still refused.
Genesis continues with Potiphar’s wife lying to Potiphar and Joseph winds up in jail, yet God blesses Joseph even in prison. God sees Joseph’s integrity and rewards him, eventually raising this Hebrew to become Pharaoh’s second-in-command. At the time in Egypt, this was the highest position of honor next to the Pharaoh.

God was pleased with Joseph’s integrity, which was present at all times. Joseph did not live by a different set of rules when there was no one around or when he would not be caught. Joseph kept the same standard of righteousness at all times, because he knew the principle explained in Matthew 6:4, “…your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

Integrity is an important element in our relationship with God, our family, our friends, our coworkers, and with others. While integrity is an ancient characteristic, integrity is not one to fail due to age, deterioration, or pressure. True integrity does not give, bend, or break under constant force. There are no leaks caused by justification or situational ethics.

Integrity is a character trait often missing in today’s standards, an absence causing plumbing type results in our relationships. If we allow pressure to crack our integrity, a flood of sin will follow, and our relationships will be clogged and foul. Our feelings will be crushed, and, much like a plumber’s belt loops, fall far lower than expected.

Is your integrity leaking or clogged?

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Glenn Sasscer
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A few years ago, I could generally fall asleep within minutes no matter my location, my bed, or my pillow. I could use feather pillows, soft pillows, hard pillows, and no pillow. Pillows had not been a great concern for me.

My chiropractor told me a different story. Due to my indifference about where I laid my head, my neck and back were a bit out of whack. When I asked why it causing a problem, he responded with the most shocking news I could receive from a doctor: “You’re getting old.”

How could he talk to me that way and still expect to have his bill paid?

Too many doctors believe they are the boss in the relationship, leaving patients reading out-dated magazines in crowded waiting rooms as if our time were not important. They ask us to undress in cold sterile rooms, use cold instruments, and then insult us.

In the last few years, I have had doctors tell me I am getting old and I eat too much. My loving and adoring wife tells me the same thing for free, only she uses words such as “crotchety” and “fat”.

Yet as I consider the insulting words of my chiropractor, I must accept the truth. As such, my pillow has become a greater concern in “my old age”. To keep my neck and back aligned, I must sleep on a thicker pillow to keep my head straight at night. This will improve my spine alignment, which may increase my energy level, improve my digestion, and enhance my overall quality of life.

Who would have thought a little thing like a pillow would have such an impact on our entire day?

As I ask this question, I am reminded of how this concept applies to Scripture. God’s Word speaks about alignment with basic Biblical principles in many places, pointing out how these seemingly minor concepts can have great influence over our lives.

One good instruction begins with Titus 2:1, where we are told, “You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine.” As we give advice, share what we know, or just have conversations, we should realize we are teaching others about ourselves. While this may be a little thing, Titus 2:1 tells us our teachings must be “…in accord with sound doctrine…”, or in alignment with Biblical principles. This alignment of minor things has great influence over our lives.

Further on, Titus 2:7-8 addresses that in all we do, we are teachers. “In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.” We are setting an example by the way we live our lives and conduct business, by the way we talk and act, and by the way we treat others. In this way we are teachers, and our teachings should show “…integrity, seriousness, and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned…”.

Could it be possible to live so that others would “…have nothing bad to say about us…”? This not only includes our enemies, but is specific in referring to “…those who oppose…” us in life.

While I hold this goal as one I may never reach, I must regard it as one to continue to strive for in all things. As we are told in Philippians 3:14, “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

By striving for this goal, we place ourselves in better alignment with God’s Word. This will improve our Spiritual alignment, which may increase our relationship with the Lord, improve our Spiritual foundation, and enhance our understanding of eternal life.

My chiropractor tells me that though I am “getting older”, it is not too late to change so that my spine is in better alignment.

1 Timothy 6:19 tells me that though I am “getting older”, it is not too late to change, for, “…in this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.”

So, I am left with one question: How are you aligned?

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The only fine etiquette with which I am familiar is to start using the silverware from the outside of the setting and work toward the inside.  While I know this protocol, I never understood the reason for having different forks and spoons, especially when none can help with pizza as well as my own hands. 

This is where my loving and trusting wife tells me no one sets a full placement of silverware when pizza is served.  Yet still I ask why would it be set for any other food? 

A shrimp fork?  No way!  Pick that thing up by the tail, dunk it in your melted butter and eat it.  A soup spoon?  If the goal is to get more in your mouth, use a serving spoon!  A salad fork?  If you want a clean fork, hold your lips together when you take that last bite!

I mean no offense for readers whom appreciate the fine silverware cluttering up their tables.  Selecting the appropriate utensil is likely second nature, and as such they would never consider using a butter knife to cut a hot dog or scrap up the extra nacho cheese left on the plate.  There must be some other tableware for this purpose, for instance a wienie knife or a nacho spoon.  

Many consider the full placement of flatware for a special dinner engagement (for which my invitation will undoubtedly be revoked after this article), for special guests, or for the wealthy.  The wealthy are always invited to such occasions as most are well versed in the use of the full table setting and have earned the right to be there.

Yet some might think the affluent are excluded from their invitation into the Kingdom of God by the verse in Matthew 19:24 which reads, “Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God.”  This is a common misunderstanding relating to a Jewish (as well as Arabian) proverb, not to a sewing needle. 

When we consider the “eye of the needle”, we must remember the towers of the ancient Jewish and Arabian cities were often referred to as needles.  All entered the cities through the main gates by day, open for traders and those bringing goods to market.  At night, the main gates were closed to protect the city and entry was through a small door where several guards kept a close “eye” on activities.  The “eye of the needle” referred to the entry door in or near a city tower.

Now, while this reference is larger than the eye of a sewing needle, it is still smaller than a standing camel.  A traveler had to unload goods from the camel then coerce the beast through the door on its knees, or risk death and robbery outside the city.  Getting the camel on its knees was not easy, although it was possible.

The correlation to a rich man comes in unloading all goods and possessions, or burdens associated with wealth.  The unyielding burden represents areas in life not turned over to the Lord, which applies to many no matter our wealth.  When we withhold what is the Lord’s, we find ourselves like a camel with no entrance to the city.

The question we ask ourselves is what belongs to the Lord?  As long as we do not hold these things back, we should be in good shape, right? 

Psalms 24:1 explains “The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it.”  Everything belongs to the Lord and we are merely stewards over what He has assigned to us. 

What about something you bought with your own money?  See Psalms 24:1.  What about a Christmas present?  See Psalms 24:1.  What about something I made?  See Psalms 24:1.  Something I earned?  See Psalms 24:1. 

All we have already belongs to Him.  No matter what we have, whether little or great, we are all rich in the fact the Lord has provided for us.  Our burden is heavy when we claim our own and light when we realize it all belongs to Him.

Our choice is to keep it all and die outside, or unload it all and come into the safety of God’s Kingdom on our knees.  This may not be easy, although it is possible.

And once there, we are promised a fine banquet with all the fixings, and most likely, plenty of silverware at the place settings. 

I’ll be looking for the wienie knife and nacho spoon. 

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Glenn Sasscer
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Our first house was far from the suburban dream home highlighting the covers of architectural magazines, unless it was a landfill publication. You might remember the termite blog posted last week and the associated picture? This is the same house. We believe it may have been featured on a landfill calendar since nothing was thrown away during the decade before we purchased the place.

One path in the yard snaked past a 35 foot steel hull boat resembling the S.S. Minnow sitting in the same spot for the past fifteen years (it might have been the actual S.S. Minnow from Gilligan’s Island… no one can actually account for the origins).  The path continued through a collection of paint cans, rock piles, construction material, and reached the back door just beyond the rusting washer and dryer (yes, the washer and dryer were outside). Once inside the house, the path skirted between stacks of newspaper, plastic containers, glass jars, and piles of clothes. This narrow trail jogged near the bathroom, expanded in front of the refrigerator (so the door would open) and again between the recliner and television. Getting to the bedrooms would have required mountain climbing gear and a waiver from our insurance company.

The unfortunate state of the house was a reflection of the previous owner. We are told he rarely left the house and never had visitors. The house was his prison.

We spent nearly three months hauling garbage from the property, both inside and out, leaving us with what we eventually called, “The Boat”. At one time, this monolith was someone’s dream. Fifteen years of neglect left this 35-foot mariner’s nightmare with a corroded steel hull, axles rusted solid, hornet’s nests as large as suitcases, and a rotten, vandalized interior. We spent weekends with the torches cutting off portions of the dreamboat and hauling it away in pieces.

I still remember about halfway through the process when there were jagged edges, structural pieces sticking out, and metal as sharp as razors. One day, as my brother-in-law and I were leaving the house, I saw some neighborhood children playing on the remains of the boat.

My heart froze. These kids were jumping, skipping, and running across parts of the boat I was afraid to even step over for fear of severing my toe, foot, leg, or other parts of my anatomy.

My reaction was powered by adrenaline and my voice bellowed out, “Get off the boat!” My brother-in-law, who was unaware of the children, dodged for the safety of his car – certain his sister’s new husband was a maniac. He has yet to forget this incident.

Memories of “The Boat” remind me of the Biblical principles of obedience. We find in Genesis 8:13-16, which reads, “By the first day of the first month of Noah’s six hundred and first year, the water had dried up from the earth. Noah then removed the covering from the ark and saw that the surface of the ground was dry. By the twenty-seventh day of the second month the earth was completely dry. Then God said to Noah, ‘Come out of the ark, you and your wife and your sons and their wives.’”

These verses show the dedicated obedience of Noah. A common misconception is the flood last forty days. Actually, the Bible tells us the rains lasted forty days and, in Genesis 7:24, “The waters flooded the earth for a hundred and fifty days.” This is the point where the waters started to recede; another five months passed before the Ark touched dry ground.

Three months later, Noah and his family are still in the Ark! In the above verses, Noah removes the covering and sees dry ground, but stays on the Ark for another eight weeks. He is cooped up in the boat for almost a year and patiently waits for the Lord to give him permission to leave. Noah was obedient and the Lord blessed him in many ways.

As the Lord instructed Noah and gave Noah opportunities to be obedient, He is instructing us and giving us our own opportunities. One of the most prevalent instructions is in Matthew 28:19, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations…”

Many of us are like the previous owner of our first house; we do not want to leave our comfort zones. We use the same paths in our lives and rarely get rid of any of the clutter. We become prisoners of ourselves, walking on the jagged remains of a cut-up dream and failing to see the perils of the razor sharp edges.
The Lord offers us freedom from our prison by calling us out of our comfort zones.

The Lord is giving us an opportunity to be obedient. The Lord is bellowing, “Get off the boat!”  Is it time you came out of the Ark?

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Before a good friend moved to Hawaii several years ago, he gave my family a very nice puzzle.  I am positive this was a guilt present.  You know what I mean by a guilt present, don’t you? 

Let’s take a Dr. Phil moment as I walk you through this explanation: He moved during the winter from the frozen tundra of Ohio, the land of single digit temps on the Fahrenheit scale, to a location where extremely cold weather is when the temp dips below 70 degrees.  He gave all his coats to charity before leaving.  Snow boots?  Gave them to a neighbor. 

 Now let’s analyze this gift… most definitely a guilt present.

Now, I don’t want to seem unappreciative.  I am grateful for the attention and compassion he had for his freezing friend.  He visited the islands before moving there, bringing back our gift of a gazillion piece puzzle showing a beautiful view of the ocean waves crashing against the beach. 

We felt more than obligated to put this picturesque monstrosity together so we could comment if he ever called.  I think maybe he thought we would stay warm with the effort we spent putting the staggering number of little pieces together.  After spending three months working with the horrendous little pieces so nauseatingly similar in size and shape, I was ready to chase him down in Hawaii and educate him on the proper etiquette involving guilt presents.    

First, guilt presents should never require assembly, especially a gazillion pieces of a picture where the sky and the ocean are indistinguishable in color.  Second, guilt presents should be consumable, generally high in calorie content and something everyone enjoys.  Third, if you ignore the first rule, never test the second rule before giving the guilt present – that is, I am positive he ate the final piece of our gazillion piece puzzle. 

Now I realize this is an absurd accusation, yet it seemed very believable after working with those tiny pieces for so long and finding a hole where the last one would fit.

If you have never put a puzzle together, you may not realize the intense frustration of getting to the end of the long, arduous ordeal, spending grueling hours and days putting the incredibly tiny pieces together, only to find one stinking piece missing.  While murder is never a justified crime, a slight choke hold may be in order for my Hawaii bound buddy… not to the point of passing out, but at least seeing some stars. 

One missing piece ruins the entire picture.

This is similar to our position in the Body of Christ, specifically in our position in serving God and our fellow brothers and sisters.  We find a good description of the church as a body in 1 Corinthians 12:20-27 with, “As it is, there are many parts, but one body.  The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I don’t need you!’ And the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you!’  On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.  If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.  Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.”

These verses explain we all have our function in a church.  Whether we are attending a formally recognized church or a home church gathering, there are different parts of service and there are requirements in establishing a flourishing fellowship.  This does not call us to lose our individuality or identities, as some people fear, instead we see “…God has combined the members…” so there would be “…no division in the body…”. 

If we were to lose our unique qualities, there would be no benefit to being part of the body and there would be division.  We would have been made all the same if God had intended for us to be the same; instead, we are different, each of us with our own special purpose and design – each of us with our own part.   

As God combines the members, He is capable of shifting the pieces and developing them to specific roles in the huge puzzle He calls the Body.  While I may have spent a few weeks working on my little puzzle, He started His in the Garden of Eden and stretched it across the world.  We may only see a portion of His work; He is always focused on the finished product, as His is the ultimate masterpiece in all creation. 

We are part of that masterpiece. 

We are part of that puzzle.   

Which reminds me of how I was frustrated over a tiny missing puzzle piece.  Can you imagine how disappointing it must be when we do not step forward to fulfill our role and leave a huge gapping hole in His puzzle? 

I rescind any claims to a choke hold on my buddy.

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When I was growing up in America, there were several icons in our society providing influence to the American image. For my generation, John Wayne provided an image where real men are tough and gritty, usually loners, drinkers, and when faced with a challenge, we clench the reigns of our horse in our teeth and charge at our adversaries with a gun in each hand. Clint Eastwood showed men do not show emotions other than anger or disgust, we wear dark shades, sometimes have primates as friends, and in a final conflict, we let the enemy make a choice – in case they feel lucky. Sean Connery provided a different approach with women, confidence in purpose and style, an interest in technical gadgets, and left me wondering if I should adopt a really cool accent (I never did). Then Burt Reynolds contributed a fast, black Trans-Am, wise-crack comments, and a complete ignorance to posted speed limits.

Does this make them bad influences or good? I render these gentlemen, as well as the innumerable celebrities and role models for my generation up through the current, guilty of entertainment only. While they are examples of movie characters, the choice was always mine to accept or disregard. Whether I acted like a hardened cowboy or Green Beret, talked with a rigid jaw and sneer, ordered my drinks shaken and not stirred, or drove like Sheriff Buford T. Justice was “blowin’ down my doors”, the choice was mine to accept their portrayal of life or to adopt my own. I make the choices in my life. I am responsible for them.

Some might say celebrity role models have a great responsibility for our youth. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I believe this is passing the buck and parents are wussing out by not accepting their own responsibilities for their children. In that celebrity role models provide a lifestyle option or a choice is undeniable, but the authority to shape the youth is with the parent (or legal guardian). This is not only set forth in the American Constitution (as it stands today), it is Biblical.

In Deuteronomy 11:19, we are instructed to teach the Lord’s commandments with, “Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” We are also told in Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

These portions of Scripture establish the instruction of nurturing for the parent to our children. The Bible does not say “allow others to teach your children”. Instead, we see the clear description of “your children”, the children entrusted to us as our responsibility (whether parent or guardian).

These verses also express we should “Talk about [God’s instructions] when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” While the verse is referring to the Lord’s commandments, we have sufficient evidence to know the Lord wants our instruction to our children to be continuous.

Why?

Because, if you “Train a child in the way he should go… when he is old he will not turn from it.” This single verse says so much to raising children, beginning with the very first word. Raising children and teaching them is a process of training and education. For what purpose? So when they are older, they will not turn away from the good lessons provided. As we look at this exercise, we should recognize we do not need to train children to be children – this will happen naturally. However, we do need to train them to be adults. We are raising our children to be adults, not children. 

This may be the downfall for many celebrity role models today - nobody ever trained them to be adults.  They were not trained to know adults do not throw temper-tantrums, yelling obscenities, and cursing others.  They were not trained to respect others.  They were not trained to know they are merely human beings, not gods.  They were not trained… (you fill in the blanks).

As adults, every person must make decisions and accept the consequences for those choices. In training our children, the process of seeking wisdom in the course of their lives is crucial to making decisions. Children are required to learn how to make good decisions and how to accept responsibility for their decisions.

Our challenge and responsibility is in the training. I have never raised three children before, nor has my wife. Our trust is in the Lord and in His wisdom. We trust He will guide us in raising and training our children, and in turn, that He will guide them in their decisions.

So, if we train our children to be adults, to know how to make proper decisions by seeking the wisdom of the Lord, will role models, actors, or movie characters be an influence – or merely entertainment?

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We purchased our first house soon after we were married.  We found a lovely rundown shack a few houses from the shores of Lake Erie, and easily the worst house on the block (Ok, it was a bit better than the picture shown).  We found rats and mice refused to live in such squalor, however termites thought our shanty was heaven.  Soon began my extreme aversion toward these wood munching creatures, and I discovered I would stomp, smash, crush, pulverize, annihilate, and any other action to eliminate their presence from where I live. 

Now this hatred and loathing does not come from seeing just a few of this tiny fellows.  I encountered an army swarming across the floor in my newly purchase house and up one of the walls.  Without any exaggeration, they were so thick I could not see the color of the wall they were climbing. 

I admit: I was cleaning a house vacant for years, and I may have disturbed this ruthless enemy… but this was my house!  I was ready to call 911, the army, the news channel, or anyone to help me, but there was no telephone service yet and, believe it or not, we did not have a mobile telephone (I know… this sounds like the dark ages).

I will never understand where they thought they were going.  There is a ceiling at the top of the wall and as far as I could tell, nothing really to conquer, fight, eat, or pillage for these marching soldiers.  Yet for some reason, I felt compelled to defend my ceiling from these advancing intruders – perhaps to stop them from moving above and dropping on me like little Kamikaze pilots.  After all, this was my ceiling and who did they think they were? 

I whipped out the only two cans of pesticide in my weapons arsenal and immediately began my assault in a western-style, double-fisted ambush.  To my ultimate surprise, this liquid which “kills on contact” seemed to be go-go juice to these little guys and they tripled their speed!  Higher they climbed on my newly purchased wall, not dead but at least clearing away from the areas of my attack.

Without any other recourse, I sprayed a double line barrier along the top of wall and stopped their advancing march.  I also circled the room, trapping them in a giant oval stretching across the floor and up one wall.  The enemy was mine, encircled in a barrier they would not cross. 

I do not remember my first response, though it may just have been a small cruel chuckle.  Again, the enemy was mine and they were trapped. 

This allowed me time to strateger-ize (I love that word!).  I was one man against evil battalions of wood-thirsty savages.  The pure numbers were against me, the odds in their favor and my newly purchased house balanced precariously in the middle of this battlefield.  One wrong move and my house would be eaten… err, well, to forego the dramatics, my newly purchased house would be severely damaged anyway. 

What would prevail in the face of such travesty?  I searched my memory for war tactics and the cunning maneuvers of past generals and heroes.  Quotes came to mind, such as “Don’t shoot till you see the whites of their eyes”, “I shall return”, and “Don’t tread on me” (I liked this one!).  Empowered, I realized I had something these timber hungry villains did not have in this fight for life and home – besides being a gazillion times bigger, I was slightly smarter! 

In the face of adversity, we are called to be smarter.  We find this in the Bible many times where we are instructed to seek after God’s truth to find peace.  As we look at James 3:16-18, we find, “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.  But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.  Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.” 
In the first verse, envy and selfish ambition will bring disorder and evil into our lives, then we find we have an answer in God’s wisdom where there is peace, consideration, and mercy.

The Bible tells us in Proverbs 2:6 that, “…the LORD gives wisdom…” and in Colossians 3:16 we are told to, “Let the Word dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom…”  In seeking wisdom, we find the Lord gives us wisdom and it is derived from the Word.  The Bible is the Word of God given to us for instruction and learning. 

James 1:5 also instructs that, “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”  These verses are clear in how we should ask the Lord for His wisdom and seek it through His Word – or, pray and read the Bible!

Yet in all this, what would be the best defense with those pesky house-gnawing termites waging an assault on my newly purchased home?  Again, the Lord provides! 

At my disposal, I had a weapon of mass destruction for these little critters.  Science and technology provided a long range, yet effective attack against the invading horde.  With precision, skill, and years of training doing chores around the house, I had the ultimate, most supreme tactic.  No S.A.M. or Scuds for me, I used the S.H.O.P.V.A.C.!   

Let me encourage you: Don’t live in a vacuum – seek the Lord’s wisdom in His Word.  Otherwise, life sucks.

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Glenn Sasscer
www.glennsasscer.com
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I subscribe to most of the recommendations made by the Macho-Male Book on Life, particularly what is said about commodes.  For those of you who are not familiar with the word commode, I am referring to the toilet, the john, the head, the porcelain throne, and for our canine friends, the drinking bowl. 

Now the Macho-Male Book on Life rates commodes in the same way automobiles are rated: the less efficiency the better.  With this in mind, it is easy to see why older commodes using roughly the same amount of water that fills a small pool are rated higher than the newer economy
models using a cup or two of water.  The principle is the same with vehicles: It is all about horsepower. 

Let’s face facts: if you were to toss a small tissue into an economy model, you might see it clear the bowl after two flushes – as long as nothing else is in the bowl and you wait the mandatory minute or so for the reservoir tank to completely fill (you want that whole cup of water for the flush).  Yet, if you were to dump a five gallon bucket of sand into one of the older models, you will have enough horsepower to not only clear the bowl in one flush, but push the sand pile halfway to Cleveland.

The real reason plumbers promote the economy models is to stop losing their plungers.  A well-known fact around the plumber union halls is they continually lose plungers when they unclog those very rare back-ups in the older commodes.  Once the obstruction is free, the suction is too hard to fight and down goes the plunger.  The older models rarely get choked up on any blockage – the most common being small poodles quenching their thirst at the moment of flush (They simply get caught in the undertow).   

I recently found a rebel plumber, disgruntled when he was banned from the union hall for losing his golden plunger award, who would admit the truth about the older model commodes.  His words verbatim, “They were made to flush.”  And his comments about the economy models:  “Their primary function is to hold fluffy seat covers and to give poodles a fighting chance.”

Here we find the first professional not affiliated with NASCAR to support the recommendations of the Macho-Male Book on Life (NASCAR has endorsed the code book since inception, but that is a story for another blog).  Each commode has their own specific purpose.  We will get unsatisfactory results if we confuse the function of each.

Which brings us to our Biblical principle for this article.  I know you were wondering how I was going to segue from toilets to the Bible without getting blasphemous, but the principles are the same. 

God has made us for a specific purpose and job in His plan for our lives.  We find this in 1 Corinthians 12:27-28, “Now you are the Body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.  And in the church, God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues.”

These verses show that each of us have a place and a part in God’s plan.  We have a role to facilitate to the best of our ability.  The important point to realize is God has given us the abilities we need, the actual talents and skills required, to function in the role He has designed.

If God has blessed us with the gift of hospitality, we should use this awesome talent to benefit others.  If God did not bless us with the talent to sing, the last place we should find ourselves is on the choir or worship team (I learned this the hard way… how could I know they were turning my mic off?).  We have our calling and place, whether it be in a pastoral capacity, as an administrative clerk, or in helping others by giving them a telephone call or visiting them.

These verses do not call us to a position of honor as the world sees us, but to honor the position we are called to as the Lord sees us.  I encourage you to prayerfully examine the place to where the Lord has been calling you, the service where you know you are prepared, the part for which you have been made.   
We each have our own specific purpose. We will get unsatisfactory results if we confuse each other or ourselves with how God has designed us. 

The results just won’t flush.

Glenn Sasscer
www.glennsasscer.com
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My wife and I home school our children.  This can be very interesting most days, especially when we teach science topics at home.  I have already had to participate in the dissecting of a cow eyeball.  Thanks to our local butcher, Tank’s Meats, we were able to get one of those slippery, gelatinous eye sacks, and explore the wonders of this… well, fairly gross experiment.

Our curriculum also has us studying bugs.  We brought a giant bug book home from the library as part of a recent lesson to learn about these magnificent cratures.  As we gazed at the colorful, huge, detailed pictures of these… these… bugs, I came to the same conclusion I had in my childhood: Bugs are ugly! 

In my opinion, it makes no difference if they have simple dots, colorful patterns, multiple wings, or can spin elaborate webs that rival Michelangelo, bugs are still ugly.  I do not like them.  I do not to like them, Sam I am, I do not like green eggs and ham, nor green bugs for that matter.

My kids do not share my feelings for the creepy-crawly creatures of our planet.  These little entomologists are delighted to find a grasshopper, a cricket, a butterfly, or a moth.  They collect the shells of katydids and store cocoons with a leaf collection in a mason jar.  They relocate ladybugs and Rollie-Pollie-Oulies (their name for those little gray things that curl into a ball).  Their favorites are the stick bugs and the Praying Mantis.

Now to prove my point, let’s take a moment to examine the cruelty of the insect world.  Some might think the Praying Mantis is pretty innocent – after all, it does pray, right?  Actually, this little carnivorous creature is probably wiping the blood of their last victim off their cute little forepaws.  This is a meat eating insect, with the female consuming the male’s head shortly after mating! 

Still think this is a pretty innocent bug?

And come to think of it, how smart can they be?  You would think the males would catch on.  If a few of my buddies came up missing and their wives seemed a little bloated from a recent meal, I would probably review my options. 

“What honey?  Na… why don’t we just cuddle tonight.  You know you always want to cuddle.  No really… why are you looking at my head like that?  Stop licking your lips!  Stop that now, I’m just not in the mood.” 

In spite of what Dreamworks and Pixar would have us believe, a bug’s life is not the life for me.  When I fell head over heels in love with my wife, I kept my head and my heels – a significant difference.  In comparison, I prefer to love and honor my wife and receive the same in return.  We share a respect talked about in Ephesians. 

Paul is talking about relationships in Ephesians 5:24-25 when he says, “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”  Some women may have difficulty with this verse and some men may try to hold it over their wives as a perverse rule of submission, which in both cases misrepresents Scripture.  This is a comparison verse, teaching us by giving an example of how Jesus Christ loved the church (meaning the people of the church, not a building).  If men love and treat their wives as Jesus loves and treats the church (to the point that He gave His life for the church), then our wives are more likely to respond in a similar fashion. 

Paul gives another comparison teaching in Ephesians 5:28-30, “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies…   …no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of His body.”  I believe this is a vivid instruction for husbands to care for our wives, feeding them not just physically, but also emotionally; caring for them not just as a person, but also providing a spiritual pathway to God for their relationship with Him.  I also believe this is a vivid instruction to wives to look for this in their husbands, seeking their support and provisions.

This is not the way of the world.  Our society would have us believe our marriage should be different than how God intended.  Feminism preaches stronger, self-reliant women; machoism preaches uncaring, grunting, burping, and prideful men seeking one thing in life. These are both fake positions in our relationship, and as these two philosophies escalate in practice, so does the divorce rate. 

This reminds me of the Praying Mantis, yet instead of the male losing his life, he is losing his wife.  I think it takes a real man to love his wife, and a real woman to let him.     

Glenn Sasscer
www.glennsasscer.com
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